I've been thinking about this post for a while now and want to get it right. Waiting, that is it's theme. This word had continually come up again and again in Davids and my life, he waited 3 years for me to finally date him, we waited 7 years to get married,had 2 kids but then waited 4 painful years for the next 1 to come along, waited 3 years to be hired as a fireman, waited as we watched life be taken from my mom, 2 year wait for healthy baby #4,which by the way I was "supposed" to only be able to have 1 because of my diabetes another story,Then comes baby #5. We had decided together I would not give birth to this one God would give her to us another way and in April of 06 we began yet another wait. 8 to 10 months they told us , Mei was just about to turn 5 then. "while I'm waiting, I will serve you while I'm waiting, I will worship while I'm waiting , I will not faint , I'll be running the race, even while I wait" John Waller.
I can't say how many times I have cried while singing this song, it talks about being patient , confident, obedient, peaceful, hopeful and bold and while I can not say we were all those things still we waited.
So Why? why the wait? why over 3 years? why did she sit there alone waiting for us, we were right here the whole time.I wish I could say after all these times of waiting we have it all figured out. Truth is we do not. I have so many questions to ask God when I see him, why didn't my mom live 47 more days to see our first daughter , why didn't I get pregnant when we wanted so she could have seen them all? why did a mother have to give her tiny baby girl up and why did it take her 8 years to get to us? why now that we finally have her can't I be free of pain to care for my kids the way I wish I could?
" I waited patiently for the LORD. He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the sticky mud.He set me on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many people will see this and worship him. Then they will trust the LORD." psalms 40:1-3.
He has put a new song in our mouth our wait is over and as you see those big brown eyes in the photo above I hope you hear our praise to God. It is because of Him we loved an orphan even before we knew her name, because of Him she was chosen for us, His grace brought her to us. I hope you will see and hear our worship and trust Him as we do!
This one thing we do know for sure, our God is in control of this horribly sinful world . we do not understand it or Him, Thank goodness or He wouldn't be any smarter than we are! What do we do now that this wait is over? well like the song says worship and serve. We are really nothing special just a couple who selfishly wanted another girl. So why do we have a life of waiting, I don't know but I do know who does and we will keep on trusting Him.
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